The Queen Mary

Call it an "oddumentary." The video begins in a Fellini-esque fashion, with a pretend symphony conductor waving his arms in front of Long Beach buildings to the rapt admiration of 1960s onlookers. Viewers then see lots of footage of the luxury ship Queen Mary steaming into the Long Beach port in 1967. Next: it's on to a video tour of the ship, which is now a hotel, museum, shopping, dining, and bungee-jumping center. The tape concludes with a dear little old man eating--and eating--and eating (for a minute and a half of a 22 minute tape). Our geriatric gastronome picks up a magic baton, gestures--and disappears. Wow. The explanation for all this is that the producer took two reels he'd filmed in 1965 and 1967, put them together, and added some contemporary video. The first old movie was entitled "Long Beach is a Symphony" (hence the inexplicable presence of our faux conductor here) and the second documented the Queen Mary's arrival. Okay. The video tour of the ship is an excuse to repackage the works for a '90's audience, and the little old man we watch eating is none other than the self-same actor who appeared as the conductor in "Long Beach is a Symphony." The unfortunate result of all this is a sad hodgepodge of a tape, and the slap-dash quality of the video tour and scanty information offered about the ship won't help would-be tourists much either. Not recommended. (R. Reagan)