Mortdecai

Johnny Depp's considerable talents are squandered in Mortdecai, where he plays the titular, preening, aristocratic dandy, a man besotted by his mustache. Based on a trilogy that began with Kyril Bonfiglioli's 1973 novel Don't Point That Thing at Me, this caper comedy chronicles the misadventures of British Lord Charlie Mortdecai, a snobbish, tax-dodging art dealer, along with his disapproving trophy wife, Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow), and studly manservant Jock Strapp (Paul Bettany). “Every man should have a Jock, don't you think?” muses Mortdecai, twirling his walrus whiskers. When a rare Goya painting goes missing after a robbery, Mortdecai is recruited by secret agent Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor) to find the stolen canvas and ascertain the Swiss bank account number of Nazi Hermann Goering that is supposedly scribbled on its reverse side. Their globetrotting quest takes them from London to Hong Kong to Moscow to Los Angeles (and back again). Director David Koepp's film is not only tiresome and charmless but also chockfull of clumsy slapstick, campy violence, and smutty sexual innuendos. Perhaps because of the thin quality of the material, the cast self-consciously mugs for the camera—including hapless supporting players Jeff Goldblum as a sleazy American art dealer and Olivia Munn as his nymphomaniac daughter. A misfire that is mortifying for all concerned, this is not recommended. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include the production featurettes “Stolen Moments: On the Set” (17 min.) and “The Art of Noise: Making the Music” (13 min.), and trailers. Exclusive to the Blu-ray is a bonus UltraViolet copy of the film. Bottom line: a decent extras package for a disappointing film.] (S. Granger)