Once Upon a Time in Venice

This wannabe action-comedy caper stars Bruce Willis as Steve Ford, a disgraced former police officer turned private detective, who works with his bumbling millennial protégé, John (Thomas Middleditch)—the latter also serving as narrator—in the kooky underworld of the Venice Beach section of Los Angeles, where Steve warns local kids against the dangers of drugs and hookers. When Steve's beloved Jack Russell Terrier, Buddy, is dognapped by some local thugs, he's determined to get him back—with the help of his pal, depressed surf-shop owner Dave (John Goodman), who is going through a nasty divorce. The evidence leads them to a low-life cocaine-peddler named Spyder (Jason Momoa); Yuri (Ken Davitian), a ruthless Russian loan shark; and “Lew the Jew” Jewison (Adam Goldberg), a real-estate developer wanting Steve's help in tracking down a graffiti artist (Tyga) who has been defacing Jewison's buildings with obscene murals. Hovering around and causing trouble is Lupe the Bitch (Stephanie Sigman), much to the chagrin of Steve's sister (Famke Janssen) and niece (Emily Robinson). The highlight of the action finds Steve (or his stunt double) in a naked skateboard chase, while the humiliating low-point has him stuffing a revolver between his bare butt cheeks. Directed by Mark Cullen, this frantic, testosterone-laden misfire is not a necessary purchase. (S. Granger)