Originally released to little acclaim in theaters in 2006, this milquetoast Gen-Y hipster version of Bonnie and Clyde from filmmaker Jeff Winner is now available on home video. Satellite is a cringe-worthy, improbable story of pseudo-rebellious yuppie romance centering on bland workaday Bloomberg-era NYC protagonists Kevin (Karl Geary) and Ro (Stephanie Szostak), who instantly fall in love. When the pair decide to quit their jobs and go on a cross-country crime spree, it comes across as stagey adolescent scofflaw behavior: two spoiled kids mindlessly acting on a series of silly dares. This is not anarchic Baader-Meinhof territory we're talking about, nor anything as radical as Thelma & Louise's road trip-cum-Freudian death wish. The dialogue's unrelenting humorlessness only adds to an increasing sense of just how seriously we're supposed to take the two main protagonists and their ambitions to live above the law. But, amazingly, these characters are even more boring and annoying as criminals than they were while working quotidian 9-5 jobs. Not a necessary purchase. (M. Sandlin)
Satellite
Indiepix, 100 min., not rated, DVD: $24.95 Volume 30, Issue 1
Satellite
Star Ratings
As of March 2022, Video Librarian has changed from a four-star rating system to a five-star one. This change allows our reviewers to have a wider range of critical viewpoints, as well as to synchronize with Google’s rating structure. This change affects all reviews from March 2022 onwards. All reviews from before this period will still retain their original rating. Future film submissions will be considered our new 1-5 star criteria.
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