Stand Up Guys

The talents of Academy Award winners Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin are wasted in this piece of inane hokum, flaccidly directed by Fisher Stevens. When Val (Pacino) is released from prison after serving 28 years for refusing to give up one of his criminal cronies, he is picked up by old partner Doc (Walken). Yearning to have sex, Val quickly consumes more male enhancement drugs than his system can tolerate. Suffering from painful priapism, he winds up in a hospital ER where he meets a nurse, Nina Hirsch (Julianna Margulies), who turns out to be the daughter of Val and Doc's old wheelman, Hirsch (Arkin), whom they then spring from a nursing home for a celebratory night of mischievous mayhem—settling scores and eluding cops in a stolen Dodge Challenger. “I'm a stand-up guy,” says Val. “I took the fall.” Only problem is: Doc has orders from his mobster boss, known as Claphands (Mark Margolis), to kill Val in 24 hours, and when Doc's granddaughter (Addison Timlin) becomes a potential victim, the hit man grows even more conflicted. Filled with Viagra jokes and sleazy sexual innuendos, this is a flimsy, formulaic film that—despite the title—never really finds its footing. Not a necessary purchase. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include audio commentary by director Fisher Stevens, a “making-of” featurette (12 min.), “The Stand Up Songs of Jon Bon Jovi” featurette with the songwriter (5 min.), an “American Muscle” segment on stunts (5 min.), deleted scenes (3 min.), trailers, and a bonus UltraViolet copy of the film. Bottom line: a decent extras package for a limp comedy.] (S. Granger)