The Three Musketeers

Alexandre Dumas would scarcely recognize this campy incarnation of his swashbuckling tale, with its airborne CGI galleons and armed Milady who secures rappelling apparatus within her corset. The story begins in 17th-century Venice, where sardonic Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), good-humored Porthos (Ray Stevenson), and astute Aramis (Luke Evans) team up with intrepid Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich) to steal blueprints for a war machine from Leonardo da Vinci's vault. But Milady betrays them, delivering the plans to the Duke of Buckingham (Orlando Bloom) and then allying herself with Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz), who's scheming to seize the French throne and engulf Europe in war. Meanwhile, cocky young D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) travels to Paris to become one of the elite soldiers sworn to protect France's foppish, teenage King Louis XIII (Freddie Fox). En route, Capt. Rochefort (Mads Mikkelsen), leader of Richelieu's Guards, earns D'Artagnan's eternal enmity by mocking his horse, after which D'Artagnan not only joins up with Athos, Porthos, and Aramis—who are in search of a “cause” and find one in the effort to stop Richelieu—but also becomes smitten with Constance (Gabriella Wilde), lady-in-waiting to the Queen (Juno Temple). As the plot thickens, an unlikely escapade involves Milady stealing the Queen's diamond-studded necklace as part of Richelieu's diabolical plan. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, The Three Musketeers is dazzling in its extravagance, but the plot lacks substance, the vapid characters are never fully developed, and the dialogue is woefully stilted. Even the badly edited swordfights lack tension and suspense. Not a necessary purchase. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include audio commentary by director Paul W.S. Anderson, and producers Jeremy Bolt and Robert Kulzer, a “Cast & Crew” section with brief featurettes (21 min.), an “Achieving the Look” section with costumes and production design segments (16 min.), deleted and extended scenes (15 min.), a “17th Century Action” section with featurettes on fencing, air travel, and more (12 min.), and trailers. Exclusive to the Blu-ray release is the “Access: Three Musketeers” picture-in-picture viewing option with behind-the-scenes footage and interviews. Bottom line: a fine extras package for a disappointing adaptation.] (S. Granger)