Keeping Your Heads Above Water, Vol. 2: Pool Maintenance

Beyond the fact that, judging by the titles, this series is aimed at people with more than one head, it seems to be banking on the notion that at least one of them is empty. Safety & Rescue is a slickly produced and often loathsome video, hosted by Jack Nelson, director of the Ft. Lauderdale Swim Team. While offering solid information on safety precautions for infants and children who are around pools, and a fine extended segment on the dangers of uneducated diving, the program has an uneasy mix of highly visible product placements and tragic I Witness Video style home video footage. Some viewers might even draw the conclusion that they're being shown the disturbing scenes as cheap scare tactics designed to make them buy the products shown on the video. Although there is a warning at the beginning of the tape that viewers will be shown "unedited" home video footage of accidents, I've yet to see a "home video" clip of an accident that included--as these did--an ominous musical soundtrack. Personally, I found this infuriating. It's sad enough watching a young man dive into a pool and break his neck, without some jerk tossing in some suspense music for effect. So, some good information, but the presentation stinks. The second volume, Pool Maintenance, covers a wide range of subjects: cleaning the pool, maintaining the pumps, vacuuming, tile cleaning, maintaining filters, water treatment, handling algae, and "winterizing the pool," among others. The program opens with an idiotic skit (with a laugh track, no less) about a pool owner venturing into a store and being sold a wagonload of unnecessary goods. This is followed, without an inkling of irony, by 90 minutes of commercials for every possible pool accessory you could imagine. While the program claims not to endorse any of the products shown (give me a break), it regularly says things like "enjoy automatic color changes and energy efficiency with fiber optic lighting by Luminite." Sounds pretty neutral, right? I especially like the commercial for Jandy Lube which you use on your Jandy Valve. In the space of 12 seconds the narrator says "Jandy Lube" three times; professionals writing full-blown advertisements generally respect the audience enough to use the 3 in 30 rule (three mentions in thirty seconds). Even when the program doesn't specifically name a product during an instructional segment, the camera subtly does a close-up of the product (name facing forward, of course). As in Vol. 1, there's some good information here, but you have to wade through a lot of commercials and lame attempts at humor to find it. We don't recommend either program. (R. Pitman)