You've Had Worse Things In Your Mouth

"I like my food like I like my men...bad for the heart," says comic Billi Gordon in this occasionally amusing but mostly aimless "cooking video" spoof. Given the outrageous double entendre title, you'd expect some fairly raunchy fare on the video's menu, but the jokes--like the cooking instruction--are pretty lightweight. Gordon, a large black woman (formerly male) who is both a top greeting card model here in the U.S. and a popular star of Japanese commercials, makes fish sausage and grits, while steadily being interrupted by phone calls from her mother, visits from her boyfriend, and female wrestling star Queen Kong. Gordon's official "guest" on the cooking show is Playboy centerfold Lillian Muller, whose primary function is to display cleavage and engage in exceptionally vapid banter with Gordon. The funniest bits, far and away, are the phone conversations between Gordon and her mother (also played by Gordon) concerning the former's hedonistic lifestyle. Overall, however, the program drags and the participants seem to be verbally treading water while waiting for the telephone or a knock on the door--and we wait too. Not recommended. (R. Pitman)