And So I Stayed sheds light on the stories of domestic violence survivors who found themselves unjustly incarcerated for defending themselves against their abusers. These courageous women paid a heavy price, enduring long prison sentences, separation from loved ones, and the haunting memories of their ordeals. Kim Dadou Brown is a survivor and advocate who found love while in prison. She has played a pivotal role in the passage of New York's Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act (DVSJA).
This new law aims to prevent survivors from receiving disproportionately severe prison sentences for acts of self-defense. Tanisha Davis holds hope that this new law will be her path to a fairer outcome in her case. The single mother was torn from her son in 2013 after defending herself from strangulation. Nikki Addimando, a mother of two young children, experienced harsh consequences when a judge chose to follow the letter of the law rather than its spirit.
And So I Stayed is an interesting documentary. Kim and Tanisha have a lot of similarities in their cases: Both women were in a life-and-death struggle with their abuser. Failing to act would have resulted in death or grievous bodily harm. Nikki’s case is somewhat different. She killed her abuser in his sleep and claimed self-defense. And So I Stayed spends a lot of time trying to reinforce the idea that this premeditated murder is in the same category as two cases of life-or-death self-defense.
Because of that, it misses a few points I was disappointed didn’t get thorough discussion such as systemic racism in police and emergency response, and the undue harshness of many judges toward black and brown women. These important topics seem utterly overshadowed by what many would consider a semantic argument. The documentary’s bias can cause it to veer towards extremism that some abuse survivors may find cathartic, but other viewers will find strange or confusing, and still others will find only provocative. Recommended.
What kind of college courses could use this title?
Law and Ethics professors looking to stir up some classroom conversation may find And So I Stayed of particular interest.
What type of film series could use this title?
A film series on spousal abuse would be a perfect fit for And So I Stayed.