Ending Family Violence

"Bitch." "Crazy." "Whore." On the list of favorite verbal abuse words that men hurl at women, these three top the list. To add injury to insult, the abusive language is all too often accompanied by black eyes, busted noses, and, tragically--in the worst cases--death . Norm Nickle, M.S.W., pulls no punches in this powerful 3-part filmed workshop presented for offenders and their families. In the opening program, The Truth About Domestic Violence, Nickle explodes some of the more common myths about domestic violence: contrary to popular belief, domestic violence is much more widespread than most of us realize; anger is not the cause of violence (the escalation to violence is always a choice made by the perpetrator; many people get angry but do not punch their spouses or significant others); and domestic violence is not the domain of the poor and unknown (the rich and famous--most recently pointed out in the O.J. Simpson case--are equal opportunity abusers). Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse are all, according to Nickle, issues of power with the stronger acting upon the weaker (men abusing women, men abusing children, women abusing children), and he presents in chillingly logical fashion how abuse grows on a continuum that may begin with name calling but gradually works its way upward towards more violent expressions of abuse. As Nickle points out, physical abuse may begin with wild punches, but over time the abuser will start going after particular targets (one of Nickle's clients, a state senator, always delivered body blows because his wife made so many public appearances). In the second tape, Nickle delves deeper into the Dynamics of Abuse, exploring how abuse is used as a means of controlling stress and how relationships can deteriorate into gender warfare. In the final tape, Choosing to End the Violence, he offers techniques and strategies that abusers and their families can use to help stop the abuse. Although basically a filmed seminar, Nickle's presentation is riveting, horrifying, and--I suspect--truly beneficial to families who desperately need the kind of help that's offered in this series. Importantly, Nickle doesn't talk down or mollycoddle his audience, nor does he present everything in an accusatory tone: he offers straight talk, solid advice, and plenty of examples (both good and bad) drawn from his many years of experience in the field. A fourth program--A Workshop for Therapists, Advocates, Helping Professionals, and Domestic Counselors--is also available for an additional $40. Whether libraries decide to include the fourth volume or not, the 3-part Ending Family Violence is a timely and highly recommended purchase for both public and academic library collections. (R. Pitman)