Love in the Afternoon

One of those love-it or hate-it May-December romances, the late Billy Wilder's 1957 comedy stars Gary Cooper as aging American playboy Frank Flanagan, a somewhat obnoxious lothario who toys with the affections of half-his-age cello student ingénue Ariane Chavasse (the radiant Audrey Hepburn), until the latter turns the romantic-conquest-tables. Unfortunately, she does not--to quote Spike Lee--do the right thing (namely, roast his cojones on a stick), choosing rather to forgive him his multitudinous trespasses, with predictable gag-me-with-a-maggot results. Love in the Afternoon is not without its charms--the running bit concerning Frank's itinerant band, who wordlessly shuffle into his hotel suite each night, play an unvarying romantic set as Frank and his evening's entertainment dance, and then wordlessly depart so that Frank can score, is initially funny. The problem is that--like most other jokes in this interminably long 130-minute film--it's ridden into the cinematic dirt. Even twinkly-eyed Maurice Chevalier as Ariane's private dick dad (talk about suspending your disbelief) can't quite turn this faintly slimy romantic stretcher around. Not a necessary purchase. (R. Pitman)